therealhamster: when your lamp has an attitude
darrynek: if you still say “forever alone” well there’s your reason why
solitarydays: perks of dating me i won’t ever call you mommy/daddy because that’s the creepiest fucking shit i have ever seen i’ll keep your weight down and your self-esteem high by eating all your food and looking like road kill you only have to date me for like a few more days because we are all going to die
swordie: i can hold a wet bar of soap better than a conversation
aangnog: come with me and youll be in a world of pure emancipation
reasonswhydansafail: sleepingartist: urbancatfitters: if i ever start a band i’m going to name it “music” and then it will be literally impossible to find any of our songs on the internet the first album : “Unknown album” the hit single: “track 1” album art
crossbowsandbowties: jon-egbert: bundy-ramirez-dahmer: Remember duck duck goose? If that wasn’t the most anxiety inducing game ever then I have no idea what is. musical chairs #no #musical chairs was a battle to the fucking death#that game was training us for the hunger games #THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE VICTOR #GET OFF MY CHAIR BITCH
janestrider: beckybotsford: whenever u feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in ur body and all they care about is u
roleykatsu: libyian: wtf tumblr is so sassy like I don’t need your attitude, tumblr. Why is that close button huge are you running Windows 7 Fisher Price edition
Do you ever just have that one person you have a tiny subtle little crush on and it’s just never going to go away.
Art is anything you can get away with.– Andy Warhol (via girlwithoutwings)
timetravelwithcamelotsdetective: june-and-the-ocean: egberts: if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you’re wrong when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is SWEET JESUS SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS OH MY GOD. I TELL PEOPLE THAT IT SMELLS “SHARP” WHEN IT’S COLD AND PEOPLE THINK I’M FUCKING INSANE. DEAR CHRIST
reallyreallyreallytrying: yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
young-english: the only bad thing about mashed potatoes is absolutely nothing
askinnyblacksanta: why would you ever propose to someone in public it’s like when you would ask your parents if your friend could stay the night with your friend right next to you
legallyblindobservations: funnyordie: Baby, Is It Warm In Here? An honestly modern parody of the holiday classic “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” All he needed was a fedora. Well done
Sometimes I think that Canadian stereotypes are...
professorbutterscotch: and then I remember that at my university we write our final exams on the hockey rink
Person: I have an idea
Me: So did Hitler
Legally Blind Observations: rambleonnnn:... →
rambleonnnn: element-alchemist: bedroom—hymns: clusterphoque: do you ever get weirded out by the fact that everyone around you is constantly within their own mind and thinking a million secret thoughts and battling internal struggles just like you and that you’re not…
person I dislike: *coughs*
me: can you not
naniare: In French you don’t say “I’m on my period” you say “Les Anglais ont débarqué” which translates into English as “The English have arrived.” I find that beautiful. The English. Small Englishmen are pouring out of your vagina. They are here. There is no stopping them.
didyougetmytext: the-vashta-nerada: i used to piss off my english teacher by making stupid csi puns every time a character died in hamlet like we got to the part where ophelia died and i borrowed a kid’s sunglasses and i was like “looks like ophelia…was drowning her sorrows” i almost got kicked out every day but it was worth it #looks like laertes….got the point #looks like it’s...
andrew-ledger: Do you ever just have that one person you have a tiny subtle little crush on and it’s just never going to go away.
therealhamster: seitans: therealhamster: its 2012 why the fuck dont we have the technology to prevent cheeto powder from caking on your fingers god damn it obama gloves they are called gloves. do you know how big of a douche id look if i sat around eating cheetos with gloves on
telemiscommunication: francieum: jomason: but why is forty spelled forty not fourty Because no one likes u